My friends have been calling. They leave me messages “Hey, Alison, I haven’t heard from you since you got back. You don’t pick up the phone, you haven’t been on Facebook and I haven’t received a text in at least a week. Are you okay?”

The answer is NO I AM NOT OKAY! I am canning for crying out loud! I did something which can only be explained as maniacal.

It all started out so innocently. I signed up to buy two large boxes of tomatoes through my local bulk buy group. We go through a lot of canned tomatoes every year and I don’t want my family to be exposed to the bisphenol A (BPA) that the cans are lined with. So, after canning (in glass Mason jars) only one box last year, and running out mid-year, I thought I’d better get two for this year.

It was when I went to pick up the tomatoes at the farm stand where I started to dig my deep ditch. My friend Susan started pointing out the gorgeous Roma tomatoes, the golden peaches and the plums and Ginger Crisp apples that were all no spray, direct from the farmer and very affordable, just waiting to be taken home. It was worse than going to the animal shelter!

Long story short, I ended up with 6 boxes in my trunk, 3 of which were tomatoes.

Truth is, it’s not only about limiting exposure to BPA, it’s also about planning.

Canning our food in advance makes busy weeknight meals a breeze to whip up. It saves me time, money and is 100% healthier than anything I can purchase at the store. I control the salt, the sugar, the oil, everything. I know exactly what is in the food I am feeding my family.

Every winter without fail we lose power. Two years ago it was for 8 days. The winter after that we awoke on Christmas morning to no power. So if I freeze much I am always in jeopardy that we are going to lose that investment (of both time and money).

Time to get to work!

I bid my children goodnight and got to work. The first night I was up until midnight. The second night I was up until 1am. The third night I was again up until 1am.

It was at this point that one might start feeling a tad bit sorry for oneself. Unfortunately I had run out of not only jars but brains as well. I went to the store for more jars and ended up with…… It’s hard to tell you this……I’m actually a bit embarrassed at my outright idiocy.

I bought a whole salmon! Yes. I did. I bought MORE to can!

Back to it….
I’d like to stay awhile and tell you all about BPA and how we can buy all the BPA free plastic water bottles we want but the number one place we’re exposed to BPA is in canned foods (the aluminum cans have to be coated with plastic and yep, it’s plastic which contains BPA) but I can’t. I have more tomatoes staring at me, a box of peaches that needs to be dealt with and…… I pre-ordered ANOTHER 3 boxes of tomatoes to can next week! AHHHHHHHHH!

Check out this fabulous article at Environmental Working Group and
learn how to reduce your family’s exposure to bisphenol A (BPA)

1. Alaskans fully appreciate a warm sunny day.

I love this picture. It reminds me of my childhood. It looks like it could be almost anywhere. A glorious day at the beach, warm and sunny. What makes me giggle is that the ocean water that these kids are frolicking in like it’s Hawaii or California, is actually the frigid glacial waters of Kachemak Bay in Homer, Alaska. Alaskan kids are like any other, they just want a day to play in the waves at the beach. Nevermind that it’s freezing….literally!

2. Alaskans tend to be creative and resourceful.

Okay, so I admit, the junkiness that Alaska can breed is NOT one of my favorite things about Alaska. However, as this picture represents, what is does breed is creativity. People come up with all sorts of ingenious ways to provide shelter and warmth during the cold, dark Alaska winters. If you look closely you’ll see a large pole barn type of structure, a tent, and then a bus surrounded by a driftwood fence. Many people have and do live in buses in Alaska. Even my own father came up the Alaska highway in a school bus loaded with parts and pieces for canoes.

What you can’t see is the guy behind the bus (if you look above the bus, the dot you see is his head), up on a ladder, professor-like locks blowing in the breeze, donning santa claus spectacles and suspenders, hammer in hand building yet another strucuture, shoddily, of course. Times a tickin’ and winter comes way too fast up here.

3. Collecting agates on the beach.

4. Fish

No, I didn’t catch this one, but how could I leave out fish when sharing my favorite things about Alaska? This is a Humpy, more commonly known as pink, and it is not my favorite fish but I thought this might assuage the fishermen who read this post and need a fish fix.

By the way, two moose just ran through the yard. They usually lumber through, eating anything you were hoping might actually grow during the summer. I thought I was hearing fireworks but then I remembered that today is the first day of moose hunting season. It was probably gunshot I heard. Sorry….no picture….they were too fast.

5. Picking berries that I can’t find anywhere else.

Low bush cranberries, also known as lingonberries, red currants, bog blueberries and watermelon berries are all berries that I grew up eating. The cranberries, currants and blueberries are quite tart and the currant and watermelon berries are seedy but they are all delectable in their own way and unmatched nutritionally.

6. The scenery can’t be beat!

Kachemak Bay Mountains from Homer, Alaska. There are, count them, 5 glaciers showing in the background. The pink fireweed in the foreground only makes the view more breath taking.

7. The ornate Russian Orthodox Churches

This is my favorite place on earth. One which for whatever reason brings me peace like nowhere else. This is a Russian Orthodox Church in Ninilchik, Alaska.

And this is the view from the bluff which surrounds it. On beautiful days like this there is not another place on earth I’d rather be than right here, surrounded by these mountains.

Beautiful, artistic, creative and resourceful. Now that’s Alaska at its best!

*Once again please accept my sincerest apologies for leaving Mr. Paparrazzi at home (my husband/photographer). These pictures, taken with my iPhone, don’t do Alaska justice. I promise to bring him next time!

A new study has linked the likelihood of a child developing ADHD with prenatal pesticide exposure. The study measured the pregnancies of “348 Mexican-American women and the first five years of the children born to them. Twice during the women’s pregnancies researchers collected urine samples and measured levels of pesticide metabolites.”

“Researchers found that the risk of attention disorders rose with increasing levels of metabolites — substances created when pesticides break down — measured in a pregnant woman’s urine. For each tenfold increase in pesticide metabolites in a mom’s system, the risk of an attention disorder rose fivefold in her child, according to the report published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives.” full article

The study suggests that pregnant women should be careful to thoroughly wash their produce before consumption, and if possible, purchase organic fruits and vegetables.

Is this really the most we can do to limit exposure to pesticides?

First of all, the number one way to reduce exposure to toxic chemicals and pesticides is simple. Get rid of the Weed and Feed! Lawn fertilizers and weed killers are full of toxins and because we walk on our lawns, our animals tromp through them, our kids roll in them, and then come into the house, we are highly exposed to those chemicals and pesticides. A lot of money can be spent on organic fruits and vegetables but if you have to choose between buying organic lawn fertilizer and organic produce I’d choose the organic fertilizer.

Does washing produce really get rid of pesticides?

It is important to wash almost all produce because of the risk of E-col i or salmonella exposure. Even melons should be washed to prevent contamination when processing (cutting). Studies have shown that washing fruit that contains pesticide residue does little to get rid of the pesticides as much of it is absorbed into the actual fruit or vegetable. However, every little bit helps so using a fruit and vegetable wash that leaves no soapy residue (versus dish soap, which does leave residue) is a good idea. Peeling fruit that are very high in pesticide residue such as peaches is also helpful.

Which produce contains the most pesticide residue?

Environmental Working Group has a handy little print out that lists which produce to buy organic and which contain the least amount of pesticide residue. Notice that you do not have to sign up to receive their newsletters (although they are good and do not come often) in order to download the Shoppers Guide to Pesticides. There is also an iPhone app so you don’t have to dig for a little piece of paper in your purse when you’re at the grocery store.

Are pesticides the only link to ADHD?

I think we are looking through a narrow lens if we think that pesticide exposure is the only reason why we are seeing more and more kids with ADHD and ADD.

I have no doubt in my mind that teachers would have wanted my son to be tested for ADD and ADHD if he were sent to school everyday with a Lunchable, sugary drinks and candy coated granola bars. He is highly sensitive to sugar and starts acting like a totally different kid very soon after consuming much sugar at all. He has zero attention span, concentration and listening to directions go out the window, sitting for more than a few seconds is unlikely and he acts like a spaz. As a former teacher I find that this is not uncommon.

I think this study will open some eyes to the repercussions that pesticides can have on developing fetuses and children, but I hope that it is only the beginning of study of the whole range of things that affect children’s behavior.

The kids and I flew into Anchorage last night. My 5 year old was pretty sure we were going to crash into the depths of the silty, glacial Turnagain Arm. Landing in Anchorage has never been my favorite landing strip.  I have the same sense that the pilot may mess it up and plunge us into the gray ocean just as easily as actually going a tad bit further and sliding onto a solid land mass.

We started the day out with a scrumptious breakfast at the Sourdough Cafe in Girdwood. Their sourdough starter is 100 years old! They served up their delectable pancakes with Michigan maple syrup, fresh homemade marmalade, strawberry rhubarb and cherry rhubarb jam (rhubarb is a top grower in AK. It loves the climate and all of the light). I was stuffed for hours!

We took a tram up the side of the famous ski resort, Alyeska, saw some beautiful blue glaciers, let the kiddos tromp around like Dahl sheep on the mountain peaks and headed down when the fog rolled in socked us in.

We then went to a fabulous wild animal sanctuary near Portage glacier. It was filled with caribou, musk ox, bison, black bear, elk, two great horned owls, a bald eagle and this ridiculous brown bear lolling outside on his deck under the cover of his sod roofed cabin. Made me just want to go up and give him a cuddle! I would have felt very differently had the electric fence not been present!

It drizzled most of the day but the sun poked out its head once we hit the Kenai Peninsula and we got to see the gorgeous mount Redoubt in all of its splendor…well most, the tip seemed to be smoking. No, not cigarette smoking, volcano smoking silly!

It’s Aug. 17th and it’s still dusk at 11pm in AK!

Sorry about the picture quality. The paparazzi (My photographer/

husband) stayed home so you get my iPhone pics. Better than nothing though!

Well it seems that I have been slowly poisoning my dog. I feed my dog Shadow a raw diet; meaning he eats raw meats and bones and various cooked and uncooked fruits and veggies. I have done tons of research and read many books regarding feeding a raw diet but have somehow missed the fact that avocado can be harmful to dogs.

I offer Shadow various fruits and veggies alone to see if he will eat them, and mostly he turns his nose up. He’ll eat cooked sweet potato and carrots, a few raspberries and blueberries and….avocado. He loves the stuff. And, since I hadn’t previously seen it on the list of toxic foods to steer clear of AND there is seemingly a whole conventional pet food founded around avocado (Avoderm) I figured it was a healthy choice.

Not so sayeth many an “expert.”

So, because a couple of people close to me just got new puppies, I thought I would share 5 ways to keep your dog healthy.

Some of you may disagree with me, but like I said, I’m a raw foodie subscriber when it comes to feeding my dog, and like with kids, we’re not going to agree on everything. So take what you want and leave the rest behind. I won’t be offended!

1.Raw bones are a healthy treat for your dog. This includes raw chicken. Chicken necks (skin removed) are especially tasty! When a bone is cooked it can splinter and result in death to your beloved dog. However, uncooked bones don’t have the same issues with splintering. They are also a good source of vitamins and nutrients, aid in digestion, and clean teeth naturally.

2. What dog isn’t attracted to those classic lemon yellow tennis balls? They practically call to the poor pooches! Sadly, those rotten tennis ball makers don’t return the love. There are claims that tennis balls are made with a glue that is harmful to the enamel on a dogs teeth (especially puppies) and that the fuzz wears down the teeth. Of course, not everyone agrees that these claims are true but especially if you have a puppy or a dog that loves to chew on balls I recommend buying balls that are made especially for dogs. Kong, is a reliable brand and even looks like a tennis ball. Shadow loves the ones that squeak!

3. Chocolate (especially dark), raisins, grapes, currants, onions, xylitol and AVOCADO’S can be toxic to a dog. That being said, Shadow raided my sons Halloween treats last year and lived to tell the tale. He will now do anything for a single chocolate chip. People worry about a dog tasting blood and then always craving it. This is totally and completely untrue. Chocolate on the other hand……

4. Be sure to find a vet that thinks similarly and supports your canine philosophy. For example, if you feed raw food or don’t want to vaccinate your pet then find a vet that approaches medicine in the same way. There are lots of vets out there and many take a holistic approach to medicine that is less invasive and has fewer side effects than a conventional veterinarian. Go with what your comfortable with.

5. Do your homework when deciding what to feed your dog. If you decide to feed conventional I highly suggest going to a specialty pet food store and asking for samples of their various dog foods. The staff/owner are usually very knowledgeable and can help you pick out the best food for your dog. Remember, being a pet owner isn’t cheap and if you buy inexpensive, grocery store dog food you’ll likely pay it out at the vet’s office.

The good news in all of this is that Shadow seems to have a stomach of steel and has survived yet another slow poisoning inflicted unintentionally by his doting owners!

This is the last muffin….

A few more on the plate would sure make for a prettier picture.

I think I may have eaten them with each meal of the day….

Muffins that Taste Like Donuts

This morning my mean kids hauled me out of bed at the crack of dawn, 8:00 am, and demanded food. The nerve!

One of my lofty goals for the summer is to cook more with my kids. Since I have recently become a  Pioneer Woman addict and she highly recommended this recipe, I decided the kids and I would give the recipe  “Muffins that Taste Like Donuts” a try.

Who can resist a name like that anyway? Not only did it sound good, but the little blurb at the top claimed ”tastes like a donut but healthier.”  Add to this the fact that this was the easiest recipe ever and I was sold!

Now before my excitement gets the best of me let me just take a moment to clarify. The word “muffin” generally makes a person think they’re making a healthy choice. Please forgive me, I hate to be the Negative Nancy in the room, but I’ve got bad news to impart.

A muffin is basically just a cupcake without the sexy frosting. Yes, I know, having no frosting does make it a healthier choice, but it’s still cake.  And, if it’s been bought at the coffee shop, grocery store or comes in a box then it’s usually going to have more calories, sugar and sodium than any muffin you’d make at home. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at the nutrition facts of a Costco muffin. It’s astounding!

Back to the muffins!

Okay, so I understand that these muffins aren’t going to be the healthiest things we’ve ever consumed. After all they’re dipped in butter and rolled in sugar!  However, there’s potential for improvement here. We can make these babies glide instead of race through the blood stream. I want these to be a “muffin” instead of “cake.”

There are 3 steps to make just about any recipe that contains sugar and flour healthier:

1. Make it yourself (from scratch)!
2. Replace part or all of the all-purpose white flour with whole wheat pastry flour
3. Reduce sugar or replace part or all of the sugar

Number one doesn’t need further explanation. So let’s move on to #2.

*Whole wheat pastry flour is my secret ingredient in all quick breads, cookies, waffles, and pancake type of recipes. It doesn’t impart the strong earthy flavor that typical whole wheat does. It’s also not as heavy; and when you’re making any of the items listed above you don’t usually want a dense, firm texture. A light and moist texture is more palatable.

In the case of the donut muffins we substituted a little over half whole wheat pastry flour for the white flour. All purpose white flour is like no other. If you’re making a treat and you don’t want to compromise flavor or texture at all then you still have to have the majority of the flour you use be white (preferably organic). In the case of waffles and pancakes, and even certain types of cookies like oatmeal or chocolate chip, you can replace all of the all-purpose white flour with whole wheat pastry flour. The trick is to let the batter sit (refrigerated) for awhile (about an hour for cookies and about 10 minutes for waffles and pancakes) to let the moisture absorb and soften the flour.

On to item #3,  Reducing Sugar

I’ve tried all sorts of tricks to lessen the amount of sugar in my recipes and many have failed me miserably. Exhibit A: powdered sweet whey.

Can I tell you the truth? This is after serious research.  Are you ready? Nothing, absolutely nothing can truly replace white sugar. If you replace the sugar with anything else, Splenda (not a healthy choice), brown rice syrup, date puree, it will affect the outcome of whatever you are making. The question is always, “Can you live with that as your final product?”

In baking what I try to do instead of replacing is reducing. So many recipes call for way more sugar than is actually needed. Starting small is a sure way to achieve success. If a recipe calls for 1 cup of sugar reduce that by a couple of tablespoons. Slowly, over time you can (often) cut the amount of sugar in a recipe by half. Your taste buds will change and things will start to become too sweet.

Replacing Sugar

In the case of replacing I suggest xylitol or stevia (Use the kind of stevia that is not highly refined. It should still be brown like the leaves it comes from) for baking. Starting out you might want to just replace a couple of tablespoons with xylitol. Or you might want to eliminate two tablespoons of the sugar and then replace another two tablespoons. Don’t be afraid to experiment with it.

Just keep one thing in mind, compromises are always going to be made. It’s up to YOU to figure out what those compromises are for your family!

By the way, my kids loved their muffins! Paired with a hard boiled egg, some blueberries, and a glass of milk this made for a tasty and relatively healthy breakfast.

Muffins that Taste Like Donuts, Healthified!

• 1-3/4 cup Flour- 1 cup Whole Wheat Pastry Flour, 3/4 cup All Purpose Flour
• 1-1/2 teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoons Salt
• 1/2 teaspoons Nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoons Cinnamon
• 1/3 cups Canola or Olive Oil
• 1/2 cups Organic Sugar (white) or substitute (see above)
• 1 whole Egg
• ¾ cups Milk

For the Topping:

• 1/4 cup Butter
• 1/3 cup Organic White Sugar
• 1 Tablespoon Cinnamon

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon.

Combine oil, sugar, egg and milk. Add dry ingredients and stir only to combine.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a bowl. Combine the white sugar with the cinnamon in another bowl.

Shake muffins out while still hot. Dip muffins in butter, then into the sugar/cinnamon mix. Let cool.

Enjoy!

*Whole wheat pastry flour does not have much gluten in it so it should not be used in place of whole wheat or all-purpose white flour in recipes, such as bread, that contain yeast.

Whole wheat pastry flour is now readily available at most grocery stores. King Arthur is my brand of choice. You can also order it online

These cookies are one of my favorite ways to use up a bountiful harvest of blueberries! They’re like a fruit crisp in a cookie. Of course, I’ve tweaked this recipe to make it lower in calories, sugar and higher in fiber than the original. Enjoy!

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar, loosely packed
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups quick-cooking oats (regular work too)
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour (or half white flour and half wwpf)
1 to 2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 baking powder
1/2 to 1 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen)

In a mixing bowl, cream butter and brown sugar. Beat in egg and vanilla. Combine oats, flour, cinnamon, salt baking soda and baking powder; gradually add to the creamed mixture. Stir in blueberries (gradually so you don’t have too many). Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart onto lightly greased, or parchment lined, baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown. Remove to wire racks to cool. Yield: about 3 dozen

Ahhhh, fresh berries. They’re my favorite part of summer. I love to be in the middle of a field of berries, listening to the birds chatter, popping warm luscious berries in my mouth, just letting my mind wander. It’s a sensory delight; taste, touch, smell. It’s all good (except maybe the thorns!). 

It’s when I get the berries home that the real work begins. Jam is usually first on my list.  On a cold day in December nothing quite hits the spot like homemade bread, fresh out of the oven, piled high with homemade jam.

For years I made cooked jam, slaving over a hot stove in an oven of a house, so that I could give it away as gifts. After many years (and I mean many, I apparently have a thick skull), I realized that I had maybe given away three jars of jam the whole year and we were eating the rest. I decided tea towels would have to do as a hostess gift.

Not only did I realize that cooked jam was a whole lot more work than freezer jam, I also realized that I preferred the taste of freezer jam. The berries weren’t cooked. They were fresh and bright in color. The taste was reticent of an actual berry instead of a mushed up, cooked to extinction berry-like creature.

My major problem with most jam is that it is loaded with sugar. And I’m here to tell you that it just doesn’t have to be. I mean, we eat and enjoy fresh berries, right? They don’t generally need sugar to taste good, they’re good on their own.

And yes, I tried the pectin box that allowed the jam to be made with alternative sweeteners or juice. Still, it just didn’t turn out to my liking. It left the berries with a dull lifeless flavor.  I wanted to taste SUMMER in a jar. Is that asking too much?

Finally I found this pectin, Ball Instant Fruit Pectin and it’s now the only one I use. It’s relatively low in sugar, you can use alternate sweeteners if you like (which I haven’t tried, because it’s hard to get the consistency with alternative sweeteners and I refuse to feed my family chemicals, ahem, I mean artificial sweeteners) and it’s super easy. I mean seriously EASY.

Here are the steps for strawberry freezer jam. (You can use whatever kind of fruit you want.)

Wash berries. Even if you use organic strawberries, wash them, they grow low to the ground and are FILTHY!

Hull strawberries and cut into small pieces

Crush strawberries- I use my potato masher

In a separate bowl mix pectin with sugar (preferably organic)

Add strawberries to pectin and stir for 3 minutes

Ladle strawberry mixture into sterilized GLASS jars. Please, please, I am begging you, Do not use plastic containers to store your jam in. Plastic leaches, especially when it comes into contact with anything acidic, and you don’t want to feed your family toast with plastiscines (we’re going for toast with jam). Use straight sided glass jars (even old peanut butter jars with their original lid work great!) so they don’t swell and burst in the freezer.

Place in refrigerator overnight. You can store in the fridge if you’ll be using the jam right away but if you plan to eat your jam over time, place in the freezer for up to a year.

Note to all you cooked jam fanatics: I will be expecting a thank you note in the comment area below after you have whipped up a batch of this delectable toast topper without breaking a sweat.

This bread dough recipe is my favorite! It is originally from Cook’s Illustrated but I’ve adapted it to my own preferences over time. It’s tender, great for sandwiches, alongside your favorite soup, and slathered with butter and honey.

1 1/4 cups 7 grain hot cereal mix (I use Bob’s Red Mill 8 grain)

2 1/2 cups boiling water

3 cups unbleached all purpose flour

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

4 Tbs. honey

4 Tbs. melted butter

2 1/2 tsp. instant yeast

1 Tbs. salt

1. Place cereal mix in bowl of standing mixer and pour boiling water over it; let stand, stirring occasionally, until mixture cools to about 100 degrees and resembles thick porridge, about 1 hour. Whisk flours in medium bowl.

2. Once grain mixture has cooled, add honey, melted butter and yeast and stir to combine. Attach bowl to standing mixer fitted with dough hook. With mixer running on low speed, add flours 1/2 cup at a time, and knead until ball forms and is no longer sticking to the side. Let dough rest, covered, for 20 minutes.

3. After 20 minutes, add salt and continue kneading with mixer for about 5 minutes. Transfer dough to floured work surface and knead until smooth. Grease the mixer bowl and place dough in greased bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and light towel and let rise in warm place until doubled. I have an electric oven so I turn on the oven light and put in my oven (this keeps the oven at about 90 degrees). On top of the fridge or in a gas oven both work as well.

4. After dough has doubled in size take out of bowl and shape into 2 standard sized loaves and put into greased pans. Once again, cover with plastic wrap and light towel and let rise in a warm location until doubled.

5. Cook at 350 degrees for about 25-30 minutes or until an instant read thermometer reaches 180 degrees.

6. Remove immediately from pans and cool on a wire rack.

My husband and kids were gone for the day. I had the whole blissful day in front of me, coffee in hand, a book and a gorgeous day to sit on the deck and enjoy both.

I let the chickens out in the yard. I enjoy watching them, my buxom ballerinas with fluffy bottoms, flouncing around the raspberries jumping and twisting for the perfect berry. Bathing in the dirt, a cloud of dust surrounding them like Charlie Brown’s Pig Pen. Full of joy at the very thought of laying their precious egg in some unbeknownst spot that I will never find! They bring me peace for some reason. I was savoring it all when a loud crashing came from the woods and the girls sounded the alarm and flew for the coop.

My dog, Sheriff Shadow was on the case! We’ve had multiple chicken homicides around here in these parts. Coyotes are the usual suspect, but bobcats, raccoons, neighborhood dogs and even bald eagles all have a mug shot on file. It was at this point that all of my fantastical ideas for a relaxing and peaceful day came to a blazing and abrupt halt.

I reached for the axe and walked down into the yard. Today was the day. It was time to get to work.

The daily spring deluges turned the girls outside pen into a mud pit, perfect for a couple of wallowing pigs but most definitely not appropriate for 7 classy ladies (and 1 ugly one).

The posts were in, there was just one crumbling, old log standing between me and a new and improved chicken run. The chainsaw was out of commission, the saw blade was dull, and I’d eaten way too much ice cream lately!

I decided I would simply chop that tree in half. The axe was sharp and I’d split exactly ONE piece of firewood before. Why not this old dead tree I thought?

Now let me just pause here a moment. I have brilliant ideas, lots of them. Way, way too many of them. In fact so many that they’ve managed to clog my filter of good sense and spill out at will. Too often leaving the affect of not having thoroughly thought through the task of which I wish to accomplish.

Of course, that wouldn’t be the case today.

Feeling very in touch with my inner Paul Bunyan, I started swinging my axe. The first couple barely scratched the surface but then the wood chips started flying! Half an hour later, I’d made a pretty good dent in the tree, but come to find out that tree wasn’t only old and dead, it was also water logged. It was time for a break. After water and a few minutes of rest I was back at it, chopping away. It was all going really well until the muscles in my hand decided that they’d had enough. I pushed through the ache, but I knew it was only a matter of time before my grip gave out and the axe slipped and went through my shin. .

It was at this time that I realized that I would have been back from Sears with the new chain for the chainsaw already.

I started to miss Chief in Charge of Manly Things. Where was he when I needed him? Who did he think he was leaving me all alone with no children to complete this huge project?

It was at this time that their car pulled in. My husband and kids were home! I had hoped they’d find me napping on the swing with ice cream pooling on the cushion.

Why hadn’t I stuck with that plan?

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My little ray of sunshine popped out of the car. “Mommy, did you blow up my pool yet?” I’d previously promised my daughter that I’d blow up the pool she’d gotten for her birthday and apparently NOW was the appointed time. I pulled out the bicycle pump and went to work sculpting my “abs of steel”. Half an hour later the princess palace was wafting in the breeze.

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